Tag Archives: learning from mistakes

Missed Opportunities

Posted on by
2

 Share/Bookmark//

image032 dasies and blue sky 

     I saw a segment the other day on the Today Show about White House Press Corp journalist, Helen Thomas.  She said, “I think every President could have done better. I think it’s about missed opportunities.”

     This brought about some reflection for me and I am hoping it wil for you, as well.

      How complacent have you grown about your own life?   Do you ever contemplate how you could have improved on past actions, but without berating yourself?  What might you have done differently?  If  you reviewed your previous journeys, what would you learn from your experiences?

       Did you once have big dreams, hopes and goals?  Have you buried your dreams under piles of invoices or work orders on your desk,  or at the bottom of your children’s toy box?  Have you accepted your current level of performance, or ethical behavior, or low inspiration and outcomes as simply the cost of growing older?  Do you tell yourself that life just requires  settling  and giving in to the status quo for the sake of bringing home a paycheck and for survival?  Do you set standards you can take pride in and do you live according to your standards?  Are your days filled with decisions of integrity and confidence or are they cluttered with choices of insecurity and compromise?

     What about your passions? Do they come seething up, only to have you push them down quickly with a plunger of  worry and fear?  Do you even remember or recognize your passions?

     We can all do better.  Believing this doesn’t mean putting impossible pressure on ourselves. It doesn’t mean not acknowledging our own accomplishments and feeling  proud of them.  It’s a question of being open to new possibilities and  of finding them in unexpected places. Observe a baby or toddler and watch the glint in the child’s eye as he or she discovers a new opportunity for exploration, fun, or just plain getting into mischief.  We can view each day, each triumph, and even each mistake or action in which we perceive we have somehow fallen short, as a great opportunity to revise our internal scripts and to put in place some changes that will improve our performance and our relationships, and maybe even the world!

            Can you make a list of opportunities that came your way in the past year  that you   took  advantage of to make changes?

            What about these changes turned out really good?

             Did the changes create further opportunities?

             How did you recognize or discover the opportunities?

             Even if you did not then recognize them, can you recognize now what opportunities were created?

            Did these changes help to bring  your life into alignment with who you used to be, or who you really want to be?

              If not, is there something you would like to do about this?

             If you took a chance and allowed yourself to see new opportunities and they did not work, could you still find something positive that emerged from your having tried?

               Is there someone or something who/that would help you change your patterns and help you learn to see opportunity and possibility more easily?

             Now think about opportunities you might have missed, or know for sure you did miss.

              Why do you believe you missed them?

              Are there stories you have written in your head about how you need to live that kept you from seeing  the opportunities? 

      If you are so busy listening to the beat of the music that bounces all around you, that you can’t hear your internal beat and rhythm, you may not be able to find opportunities that are calling out softly, rather than shouting.  Sometimes these turn out to be the best and brightest ones with the most promise.   Is it time to turn inward enough to listen to the  words and rhythms that are uniquely you and that will open you up to a life  in which you truly achieve your potential?   I guarantee you will find many more fresh and  positive opportunities you never before thought existed.

Is A Past Mistake Taking Center Stage?

Posted on by
4

mistakes- (image by http://kelleyentertainment.com)

“A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.” ~ George Bernard Shaw

 

     Yesterday I saw a couple of quotes on Twitter that caused me to pause for some reflection. I am hoping you will take time to reflect too.

       What do you remember as the biggest mistake you have ever made?  Do you often dredge this up?   Do you perseverate about this mistake when alone or when with friends? 

      Do you let it creep into the corners of your mind when you want to be concentrating on something else? In the dark and lonely hours does this mistake sometimes come striding up from the wings, upstaging your thoughts and dreams and making it impossible for you to relax into sleep? Is it like reflux, creating a backwards flow after every meal so you can’t look forward to enjoying the next repast without discomfort or at least without the memory and fear of it? 

      All being well, this doesn’t apply to you and you have moved on.  You may have availed yourself of the opportunity to learn from your biggest mistake and from smaller ones.  If you haven’t, or your regrets keep recycling and prevent you from attempting new adventures and from taking even small risks,  here are some things to ask yourself:

      Why was this such a mistake? Who decided that it was? Was this conclusion one you arrived at on your own, or did it emanate from someone else?

       How did you feel when you decided you had made this mistake?  Do you continue to feel this? Is there something about this past feeling that you actually enjoy?  Did your mistake hurt anyone else? Did you do anything to mend fences at the time if someone was hurt?  What did you do to feel better?  Do you think you understand why you did what you did and have you forgiven yourself?  Do you cut yourself the same slack you cut others?  Do you know how to forgive others?  Do you really know how to forgive yourself?

      After this mistake or wrongdoing, did you do anything to change your behavior? What steps did you take not to repeat patterns that affected you or someone else in a negative way?  Are you working on that now?  How?  If it is hard for you to make these changes, who in your life can help you break patterns that do not create success and happiness for you and for the people central to your life?  Do you have good supports and have you allowed them into your world, or do you resist?  Do you need to look outside of your usual support network to find what you need to change or improve things? Where will you look?

      Does this past experience ever keep you from engaging in new ventures or entering new relationships?  Does it keep your current relationships at a level that does not seem satisfying to you,  your partner, or your associates? How so?  What is the biggest risk you have taken in life that brought you eventual satisfaction and a sense of accomplishment? 

      Do you feel your life has mostly been lived as a sort of trial by fire?  Or are you an individual who needs to cover all bases before making a move? Has that prevented you from making mistakes?  What works best for you? What are some of the productive results of having operated by planning things as much as possible?  Is it usually positive, negative, or an equal mix for you?  Do you think being more “planful” would be beneficial to you? What are some ways you can create a structure for gathering information and for planning before you take action impulsively, without losing total spontaneity? 

       What do you imagine life would be like now if you had not committed whatever mistake or mistakes you appear to be dwelling on nowadays? Would life be the same as before? Would you be having a drastically divergent existence instead?  Imagine that you can go back and erase that chapter from the book of life, or put the pages through a shredder. How do you think you would feel? Would you be more free?  Would you have the wisdom acquired from living through that error in judgment or action?  If you don’t think you would feel free by being absolved of these past actions you perceive as negative, what would empower you to be able to feel that way? What does freedom mean to you?  What steps can you commit to taking right away to move you in the direction of that type of freedom (defined only by you) ?

       A new and different future is on the menu sitting in front of you.  You only need to examine it, think about it, make some choices and go ahead and order. If you have done your self-reflection, you will know what didn’t work, what didn’t agree with you, what caused you problems and upsets and what did not satiate or delight you.  Now it is time to enjoy the meal instead of worrying about what happened before.  Perhaps there are really no mistakes but only small plates or samples at the buffet of life, to assist us in learning what we like and don’t like, and do or don’t handle well, and to whet our appetites for the rest of what is in store in all aspects of living.