UGH!!  I must tell you that when this title wormed its way into my head, it disgusted me not a little bit.  I have often had discussions with friends and with one of my adult children, about the need for and benefit of maintaining an image and projecting success to further enhance one’s business position and professional credibility. Personally I have not thought it something I needed or wanted to get caught up in.  I have always prided myself on my “realness” with people and as a teenager, had a youthfully intolerant disdain for those who were chameleons and put on different faces for different audiences. I insisted on being my “true self” and on not playing games with anyone. The result of this was that since I did not “talk down” to people and was an avid reader and writer, some of my peers who did not know me well thought I was snooty and aloof, and some were in awe of me, felt I was too profound for them and were intimidated by me.  I interacted with adults a great deal, due to my political and social passions and artistic activities (theater and poetry) and I strived to be as authentic and sincere as possible, so as not to be misunderstood, but of course, I was frequently misunderstood anyway because I did not always have mainstream ideas. I definitely preferred marching to a different drummer than most and in my naïve and youthful exuberance, at times took this to some extreme levels. I derived personal satisfaction from feeling I had integrity, and was also intensely focused on not being part of a population I considered to have spurious intentions and behaviors, or who were pretentious.

        I doubt anyone who has ever known me would have then, or would now consider me insincere or would describe me as someone who puts on airs.   While I have a taste for nice things and enjoy them at times, I am perfectly happy without them and prefer to see the important people in my life have what they need first. I am by no means a martyr, but I am just not that focused on material acquisitions.  I don’t judge those for whom possessions hold a more important place than they do in my world.  I take pride in my appearance but I define for myself what a good appearance means and I don’t follow fashion trends much.  I think I know what looks good on me and have developed a style of my own.  I prefer very casual dress, but when necessary I can don business attire appropriate to the setting.  Occasionally I do love to go all out and to feel glamorous, and I believe I know how to pull that off too.

         Like a true Cancerian, my home holds a lot of importance for me. It is an old farmhouse and I enjoy decorating, but the style is eclectic and personal. I like bold decorating statements and color, mixed with worn, comfortable objects that hold great emotional significance to me and to my family. There are many photos gracing walls and tables, and souvenirs from my travels in my life as an international adoption agency director can be found scattered about.  I don’t shop by price tag or choose what I anticipate others will like. I buy what I like and what works for me, my family and our lifestyle.

        My taste in vehicles runs to sensible, safe, reliable, not-sexy and affordable. I have had a long line of vehicular family members, some of which were hand-me-downs from relatives, pre-owned by strangers, and even when new, they were not terribly exciting to others. I have owned a great Volvo 122 S, a VW bug, a Ford wagon, a couple of terrific Valiants and Darts with that workhorse of a slant 6 engine, and a highly dependable Honda Accord, among others. My trusty Accord a 1992 DX, still has relatively low mileage for a Honda, but is starting to show its age as some of its parts begin to groan a bit and make demands on my wallet.  So I am contemplating buying another car some time in the near future and have begun to give some thought to what kind of car. Being someone who doesn’t throw money around for no reason, and given the state of the economy, I want to ensure that before I purchase a new car I gather my facts and consider what is best. I am leaning towards another reliable mode of transportation like a Honda or a Toyota.  I haven’t come to any decisions yet, but in mulling this over, I have broached the subject with various friends and family members. One colleague mentioned that she, too, was contemplating a vehicle upgrade to enhance her image as a professional life coach. She mentioned the car she now owns and I could not help thinking that if I had such a nice car I would be thrilled. She then threw out the name and model of one she was hoping to purchase and one I am fairly certain she can’t afford at this time, since we have discussed other financial issues.  I told her about the car I own and there was an awkward silence, when she responded, “You’re kidding? You can’t let people see you in that for much longer. That won’t impress anybody or convince them to hire you as a coach”.  A family member pointed out that the new magnetic car sign I ordered with my coaching business logo had best be resting in its shipping box until I purchase a more presentable vehicle.  “How will anyone believe you are successful at what you do if they see you driving around in that car?”

        So, I am faced with a bit of a dilemma.   I know I am a capable, caring, creative coach.  I perform my coaching work in much the same way I have functioned in life, and in my long, rewarding career in building families through adoption.  Being nurturing, honest, genuine, dependable, as well as insightful, sharp, original and solution-oriented are not just concepts, but are attributes I take extremely seriously and put into action with my clients.  I advertise my coaching practice, Vision Powered Coaching, using the words, “feedback without fakery, and affirmation without affectation”.  Does the kind of car I drive make a difference in how I touch people’s lives and help them? This, after all, is why I do the kind of work I do in the first place.  Sure, I want to make a living and to see my coaching practice continue to blossom and grow.  The word “cachet” means prestige or a societal stamp of approval. Do I need this cachet to be a great coach?   I have conducted myself for many decades without needing to maniacally pursue that societal stamp of approval. Since I haven’t been invested in chasing and catching that particular brass ring, it has inadvertently come to me in many forms, on its own.  I have reached a place of peace and credibility in my own life, as well as comfort and acceptance of who I am.  I do want to convey my own confidence and success when I am out and about in the world. Then again, if I attract coaching clients who are impressed with something as superficial as the type of car I drive, or who extrapolate from seeing me drive an old car that I am not competent or successful, are these the kinds of people who are my ideal clients?

        The jury is still out on this one and I am giving it further thought. Perhaps you, the reader, will give me your input on this? I would love to hear what you have to say.  If you see me out there driving a new Mercedes, will you assume I am a terrific coach and want to hire me to help you move your life to greater and more satisfying places?  If I continue to drive my snug and shabby Honda, will you presume I do not have a successful business and/or am not a coach you would want to hire? How accurately do the outer trappings and things in your own life reflect who you are on the inside?